Warning: I am about to talk dirty! If you are offended by
language that includes words like politics and government, then read no
further. After all, who could deny that a process where the candidate that
slings the most mud gets elected is dirty? Ergo, I am going to talk dirty.
Fact: government in this country – Federal, state, and local
– is big and getting bigger all the time. It is the nature of the beast that
legislators must create laws. It is what we elect them to do. Each law enacted
comes with a price tag that we the people are forced to pay.
So, who are these monkeys on our backs with their sweaty
little hands in our pockets? This is the “land of the free”; we have choices!
Right, we can choose who we like to control our lives and take our money. That
is how our democracy works.
But do we really have a choice? We vote and our vote is
counted. But how do we decide whom to vote for and who chooses the field of
candidates? If you think anyone can run for office, you are dead wrong. Just
ask Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan or any of the other candidates not sanctioned and
financed by a major political party. And what are the qualifications for
candidates? Well, not much. Usually one must have a pulse, but there may be exceptions.
There are age and residency requirements for some offices, and for the highest
office in the land, one must be a native born citizen – although it looks like
there might be a precedent against even that in the offing.
There are no firm requirements for religion, education,
health, sanity, ethics, honesty, or morality. If you can hoodwink enough people
to vote for you, you are in, and you can stay in as long as you don’t commit a
serious crime. Even then, your party may be able to finagle a way to keep you
in and voting for their programs.
Just how does one go about getting elected? Well, if you are
running for a partisan office, you usually need to “pay your dues” by working
for the party. This could take anything from actively campaigning for their
candidates to raising campaign funds, with greater weight given to the
latter. Of course, kissing babies
helps, but kissing the rings of party Titians helps far more.
Let’s say you actually have a message to get out, one that
will distinguish you from the normal drivel offered up during campaigns. Now,
if you have kissed enough rings of party bosses, you might be allowed to run
with the message. To get it out to the public, though, requires money – lots of
money. You will need every medium available in order to reach enough voters to
get elected, and media isn’t cheap.
In the 2012 presidential election nearly two billion dollars was spent by both candidates. Considering that there were some 273.5
million people 18 years or over in the US at that time, that amounts to $7.31
per person for the message. Cheap? It isn’t so cheap when you consider that
they could have sent a one-ounce letter with a position statement and full
resume to every citizen for 45 cents apiece.
But wait a minute; you probably did get a slick cardboard
flyer with the candidate’s information. Now, be honest, just how informative
was that political ad. Did it spell out the candidate’s qualifications, inform
you of important issues facing the country, or even say what the candidate will
do about them? Not likely. Most of the flyers you received – yes, there are
always more than one – probably just told you what a disaster it would be to
vote for the other guy.
To state the obvious, there needs to be election reform if
we are ever to have a fair and honest government. Unfortunately, there have
probably been more words wasted on this subject over the years than any other.
With each attempt at reform, we get worse government and dirtier elections.
Here’s an idea. First, outlaw political parties. Next, allow
only one, postage-free, letter sent to every citizen by US mail, which only includes a candidate’s resume,
qualifications, and statement of important issues with the candidate’s solution
to them. Finally – and this is most important – ensure that only qualified live,
citizens vote.
Too simple? Yeah, probably. But it would be a start on the
road to cleaner government. Then we would only have to listen to dirty talk in
the movies.
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