The Short Form of Impeachment

It’s nothing new. In most third-world countries impeachment comes at the end of a gun barrel. It’s quite efficient, actually – no prolonged discussion or trial over the wrongdoing of a leader – the military just shows up one day, and presto, a new government is formed.

No, I’m not advocating coup de’etat as always the best way to change government leadership. I do, however, marvel at the efficiency of the process.

President Bill Clinton’s philandering and lying during his administration got him into hot water resulting in impeachment proceedings against him. The House of Representatives had no problem voting for impeachment but the democrats and RINOs in the Senate just couldn’t get the job done. As a result, we were constantly bombarded with new revelations of sexual escapades and cover-ups in the news for most of his term in office.

By contrast, in Egypt, democratically elected president Mohammed Morsi provoked the ire of the Egyptian public by not making good on campaign promises and using his close association with the radical Muslim Brotherhood to inch closer to increasing Sharia law. As the numbers of protesters demanding Morsi step down climbed to hundreds of thousands, Army leaders gave the president fair warning then stepped in to replace him.

This was a real and incorruptible vote of the public – no inked fingers, no stuffed ballot boxes or hanging chads, no vote from graveyards, and no political shenanigans. The number of Egyptians protesting in the streets against Mohamed Morsi outnumbered those in support of him – mainly those in the radical Muslim Brotherhood. Someone had to listen to the voice of the people and do something else risk a civil war, ala Syria. It is unfortunate that the army had to be that someone, but they got the job done and without a lot of bloodshed.

By contrast, this style of impeachment voting has had a negative effect in Syria. Despite the departure of many high-ranking figures in the Syrian Army, they have turned against the people of Syria in unwarranted defense of the despot in charge, president Bashar Assad.

Government overthrows are nothing new. They were old-hat when Brutus and his Senate comrades hacked Caesar to death in Rome. But what I find interesting in the Egyptian process is the rejection of a leader once elected  -- albeit in a questionably free election by a mostly Islamic influenced vote -- then rejected for moving ever closer to Sharia law.

Radical Islam take note! Once a people have tasted freedom, even in a highly Islamic country as Egypt, they are not likely to be shackled under the oppression of strict Sharia rule.

Our own beloved third President and author of the US Declaration of Independence once advocated the short form of impeachment when he said, “The tree of liberty must from time to time be nourished by the blood of tyrants.” The situation in Egypt should serve as a reminder to all tyrannical despots of Jefferson’s words.

Creatures From Another Dimension

In Texas, they call them “aints”. Here, I call them a huge pain. I’m talking about those humble, tiny, indefatigable, pestilent creatures that appear in mega-force during summer anywhere they like in your house to devour anything edible – ants.

No, they aren’t just for picnics any more. These things are everywhere.

I tried checking the web to identify them, but the little buggers are so tiny you can’t just grab one to check it out. Identification seems to hinge on characteristics like the petiole nodes, thorax, head, smell, size, and other esoteric stuff. By the time I’m able to pick one up, there isn’t much left of it to identify. I can’t smell anything from the dead ant. Near as I can tell, the ones assailing my house – yes, we are under siege -- are probably the ubiquitous Argentine ants.

It’s an annual event in most households of the southwest. As the days get longer and warmer, the little suckers get bolder. The web sites seem unanimous on what they’re looking for, sweets. I can tell you with absolute confidence these pests will devour any organic material – including live human flesh. Yes, the critters bite!

We check the toilet thoroughly before having a seat. Getting bit in unmentionable places may sound funny to anyone listening, but to the victim, I assure you, it’s not.

They love lasagna. The other day my wife took the time to bake one of our favorite dishes, lasagna. After baking it for the appropriate time  -- I don’t cook, so I have no idea how long that is – she sat it on the counter to cool. Bad move. It didn’t take long for the little monsters to find this delicacy and invite the whole ant empire for the feast.

I don’t believe they even waited for it to cool. Within minutes there was a dark covering over the dish. And it was moving! An animated black line that looked like the 405 freeway at rush hour extended from the dish to a corner of the counter where it literally disappeared at the wall. I haven’t a clue how they managed to get through the solid wall. I couldn’t find a hole.

With tears in the corner of her eyes, my dear wife muttered a few unprintable words under her breath and gingerly transported our now spoiled dinner outside to the patio table. She spent the next few minutes brushing ants from her arms and other parts of her anatomy. For the next hour, we sprayed and washed down the counter and all around the still hot oven. Those little devils seem impervious to the heat.

Yes, I sprayed insecticide. In early spring, we buy it by the case. I know it’s poison. That’s the point, isn’t it – kill the things, not give them a stern lecture and ask them to leave and not come back. Over the years we tried all the “green” methods to get rid of them, Windex, soapy water, baits…you name it. Maybe it’s a matter of instant gratification, but insecticide spray works immediately. It takes a while to clean the spray residue and little dead ant bodies away, but it’s well worth the effort. Apparently, any fugitives tell their comrades stories of the ant massacre since they don’t usually return to that spot for a while. The rest of the house seems to be fair game, though.

We learned to keep our food in sealed containers. You need to make sure they are sealed tight, though. If there is even the slightest room, the ants will find it and squeeze through. The refrigerator is a good place to keep the ants out, although, one year I found them climbing through the Ice dispenser hole. They must have found a place to get ant overcoats and crampons, because I know they don’t like the cold.

I have a theory about the ants that invade our homes. Don’t laugh. I think they come from another dimension. Try this experiment: Say, you find an ant in the middle of your dining room table. Kill it and make sure there are no more on top of the table. Wait just a split second and another will appear. I know they’re fast, but there is no way they can get from the edge of the table to the middle in that amount of time. They have found a way to shift between dimensions. They’re aliens, and they are out to take over our world.

If that sounds crazy, it’s just because the ants are making me that way.