Pole-a-ticks

The political spectrum is made up of many people with a wide range of thoughts on political issues. If we were to chart the number of people and politicians holding beliefs from the left to the right – Progressive to Tea Party Conservative – on the issues, it would likely form an inverse bell chart. That is to say that the center area would be less populated than either end. So where would you be on this hypothetical curve?

You may be a Progressive if you would rather be called Progressive than Liberal but can’t explain the difference.

You may be a Progressive if you are bad at math and believe anyone earning more than you is a One-percenter.

You may be a Progressive if you believe all One-percenters should be taxed to support your lifestyle.

You may be a Progressive if you believe the people serving your $1 hamburger and fries should earn  $25 an hour.

You may be a Progressive if you believe the government has a duty provide you with everything you need in life.

You may be a Progressive if you think anyone against Obama’s policies is automatically racist.

You may be a Progressive if you believe bills should be passed without reading when sponsored by Democrats.

You may be a Progressive if you believe that it is more important for public school curriculum to boost students’ self esteem than teach the fundamentals (reading, writing, and math).

You may be a Progressive if you believe the primary function of companies is to provide jobs.

You may be a Progressive if you believe guns somehow manage to drive their owners to commit heinous crimes.

You may be a Progressive if you take every word spoken on MSNBC as gospel.

You may be a Progressive if you believe babies should be killed on demand, but murders should only be housed at taxpayer’s expense for the rest of their natural lives.

You may be a Progressive if you believe everything but drugs should be regulated by multiple agencies.

You may be a Progressive (and probably delusional) if you are certain Mr. Obama has your best interests at heart.

You may be a Progressive if you believe humans are responsible for causing natural disasters.

You may be a Progressive if you think patriot is a bad name and pledging allegiance to the flag is a subversive action.

You may be a Progressive if you believe the Constitution is outdated and the Bill of Rights is merely a suggestion.

You may be a Progressive if you believe that pornography is free speech but God is an obscene word.

You may be a Progressive if you love the tenets of socialism and are convinced that Karl Marx was a great philosopher.

On the other hand:

You may be a Tea Partier if you think the Tea Party is merely a patriotic conservative faction of the Republican Party and not a group of goose-stepping fascists.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe in a thoughtful, informed approach to legislation rather than blind experimentation for the sake of change.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe that a14 trillion-dollar debt is obscene and borrowing more just to pay the interest on the debt is an act of stupidity.

You may be a Tea Partier if you know that government is far too engaged in your life.

You may be a Tea Partier if you hate every dirty aspect of socialism.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe that wars should only be waged when the interests of our country are at stake.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe government is bloated and full of unnecessary and duplicated bureaus.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe able-bodied welfare recipients should be required to provide public service for their handouts.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe that Unions have far too much influence in politics.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe Union members should not have to pay for political contributions to candidates they would not vote for.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe immigrants should wait their turn in the quota system and those here illegally have broken the law and should be deported.

You may be a Tea Partier if you believe the Dream Act is in fact a nightmare.

There’s more, but I think you get the point. The spectrum is wide but these days it is more like pole-a-ticks than politics due to the polarization of the two main parties.